Pal-yat-chee
</br>
    When we was in the city, we was wonderin' where to go.</br>
    The sign spelled out "Pagliacci" up in lights above a show.</br>
    We thought 'twould be a Western, 'til the stage lit up with light,</br>
    And ninety-seven people sung without a horse in sight!</br>
    We couldn't understand 'em 'cause spoke a furr'in tongue,</br>
    But we can give you some idea of what we think they sung...</br>
</br></br>
    Ridi, Pagliacio!! Sul tu'amore infranto</br>
</br>
    All at once there's a fat guy in a clown suit.</br>
    T'ain't Haller-ween, that's fer shore.</br>
    Then this here feller, this Punchy Neller,</br>
    Begins to beller . Like we all was deef.</br>
</br>
    Aaaahh ha haa haa haa haa</br>
</br>
    That was Pal-yat-chee, and he sung:</br>
</br>
    Invest in a tuba, and sum'pin' or other 'bout Cuba.</br>
    He sung about a lady, who weighed two-hunderd and eighty!</br>
    When she takes a powder, he just starts chirpin' louder,</br>
    And he don't do a gol' darn thing, 'cept to stand up there and sing.</br>
</br>
    When we listen to Pal-yat-chee,</br>
    We get itchy and scratchy.</br>
    This sure is top corn,</br>
    So we go and buy some popcorn;</br>
    We hate to go back,</br>
    But we can't get our dough back,</br>
    Ain't no use complainin'</br>
    'Cause outside it's a-rainin'.</br>
</br>
    Seven hours later,</br>
    We're still in the durn theater.</br>
    Takin' turns a-nappin'</br>
    Waitin' for somethin' to happen.</br>
</br>
    Pal-yat-chee, he ain't hurryin'</br>
    But the folks on stage are flurryin'</br>
    And it sounds like Ketchy-tur-eean's Sabre Dance.</br>
</br>
    Then ol' Pal-yat-chee finds the guy he seekin' cheek to cheekin' with his wife,</br>
    He grabs the knife and stabs the louse who stole his spouse,</br>
    And then he stabs the lady and himself.</br>
    T'ain't very sanitary.</br>
    They all collapse, but ol' Pal-yat-chee sets up,</br>
    Then he gets up singin' "I am dyin', I am dyin', I am dyin''"</br>
    We start cryin', 'cause, to tell the truth, we're dyin', too.</br>
</br>
    As the footlights fade out,</br>
    We see Pal-yat-chee laid out,</br>
    But the dagger never caused it.</br>
    Pal-yat-chee was plumb exhausted.</br>
</br>
    Ridi, Pagliacco! Sul tu'amore in....</br>